He Said Yes!

This March Al and I will celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary. While this blog has been used as a historical landmark for the past 3 1/2 years of our lives together, I'd like to share our beginning with you today. This is my entry to evilwoobie’s Valentine Share Your Love Story Contest:

Five years ago I was a lonely grieving mother. My infant son had passed away causing me to spiral into a very deep depression. I secluded myself from friends and family night after night to enter a fantasy world where I couldn't be hurt or harmed. Each night after I worked a 10 hour shift at the police department I would go home and log on to America Online. I would chat with random people about anything other than death or children. I flirted with men, gossiped about current events in chat rooms, or stared at the screen praying for it to make the pain go away.

Seven months of this lifestyle went by without much thought. Each night I would log in and pray that I'd find someone to take my mind off my sorrow. Each night I would fall asleep in the early morning hours sad that another night had passed without a break in the routine.

While looking for someone to chat with one Tuesday night in July I scrolled through hundreds of profiles from my local town's chat room. Each man had the basic profile that seemed to scream "Please have cyber-sex with me!" or "Please talk to me so I can stalk you!” neither of which I was interested in. Then one profile made me laugh out loud, for real.

AlBundy11281's basic profile went something like: Male, 22, 1 child, Interest- Music, Cars, and Girls.
Nothing really funny or unusual until I scrolled down to the personal quote section -
"It's A Shame Stupidity Isn't Painful."

That single sentence made me laugh uncontrollably for some strange reason. I simply had to talk to this man. Luckily he was available online so I struck up a conversation.

We did the nervous instant messenger dance at first. Swirling and twirling our way through the usual ice breakers we soon settled into a comfortable conversation. I learned he was a single male who worked the midnight shift at a hotel about 30 minutes from me. He had one daughter who lived with her mother in the town south of him. He lived with his parents and brothers. He was into music, drinking, and fun. He was looking for a relationship, but wasn't interested in getting serious he had been burned too badly before. He had been single for quite awhile. He was as sarcastic, charming and entertaining as an instant messenger conversation would allow.

We talked online until four am that night. He made me laugh at the corniest of jokes and for those five hours, I forgot to be sad. The next night I rushed home from work to sign in hoping he would be online waiting to chat with me. The chat room Gods were smiling down on me that night, because as soon as I logged in a message popped up from him.

Unfortunately I had been chatting with several people prior to meeting him, and it seemed that each of them wanted a moment of my time as well that night. One particular man that I had once flirted with wouldn't leave me alone and always asked me to meet him "in real life". I decided the only way to get rid of this man was to reject him only I was not very good at openly rejecting people at the time. I devised a simple "application" knowing already what most of the man's answers were going to be. I told him that he had to fill it out before I would meet him in person. I knew I was going to tell him that his application was denied but to my 23 year old mind it just made it much easier than flat out saying "I'm not interested!"

I decided to send the application as a joke to my new friend "AlBundy11281". I told him ahead of time and we joked about what his answers might be. He knew my objective in getting rid of the older gentleman and thought it sounded like an interesting way to do it.

I took a few minutes to come up with sarcastic questions hoping to spark some funny responses.
I don't remember all the questions and I never saved that original application, but I wish I had. The older gentleman of course was denied and I never heard from him again. However there was one question and answer that I will never forget on the response from "AlBundy11281".

Q - How many alimony checks do you send out each month?
A - None currently, would you like to be the first?

I was hooked. I had to meet this man. He was my personality equal. This man ignited a brave feeling in my heart that hadn't been seen or heard of in the past year. He made me want to crawl out of my shell and let him know who "SpoilMe523" really was.

He gave me his phone number that Wednesday night and I tortured myself for a good 10 minutes before deciding I simply had to hear his voice. I called, he answered, and we haven't stopped talking since that night.

I gave him very few options when it came to our first date. I told him that he would be taking me to see the movie "Bad Boys II" on my next night off work. He didn't disagree, even if I had given him a chance. Two months later we took a mini-vacation to the beach. We spent a weekend alone and afterwards I'm told he went home to his mother and told her "This is the girl I'm going to marry."

November 2003

We dated for four months and became inseparable. If we were both off work we were together, if one or both of us was at work we were talking on the phone. We spent lazy weekends at the beach or in my bedroom (with the door open) talking about any subject that came to mind.

That November I attended a grief counseling conference with my mother in Orlando. We had previously started a support group for parents of infants who died from "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome". While we were driving home that weekend I realized Al had accomplished the impossible. He made me laugh when I previously thought I was dying. He never made me forget about my sorrow however he helped me learn to live without guilt.

I told my mother in the car that night and although she was nervous about it at first she knew I wasn't kidding. I told her with the most serious voice I could muster "I'm not only in love with this boy Mom. I love him with all my heart. I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I want to grow old with him." Afterwards we both dissolved into a fit of laughter as we discussed what would soon turn into my upcoming wedding.

I called him that night as we sat in a rest area parking lot. Again I gave him little choice when I told him "Al, I'm going to marry you one day. We are going to grow old together." Luckily for me, he didn't object.

The night before our wedding March 26, 2004